Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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