She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
