I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
