I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
