Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
