Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
