how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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