dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
