I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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