what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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