Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize