whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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