My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
