wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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