You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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