This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
