I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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