i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
