just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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