Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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