O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
