Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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