yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
