Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
