I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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