Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
