If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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