My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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