I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize