I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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