At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
