did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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