Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
