but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
