your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
