Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
