if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
