Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
