So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize