Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
