NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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