Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize