Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
