i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
