Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
