hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
