its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
