my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
