you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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