Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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