God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
as a side note pls kill me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
