my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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