no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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