i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
