i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
