Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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