He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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