Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
