My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
