my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
