hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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