actually, I'm a sock model
I got chris browned last night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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