I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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