how can u be prego again
he thought i was a dude.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize