dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
