they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
