wrigley field is MILF paradise
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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