you guys were way drunker than both of me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
