So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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