Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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