This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
