I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize