I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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