No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
