So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
