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And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
