Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Come on in and take your pants off
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