and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you never un-have a 4some
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
do nipples grow back?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
