After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
