apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
