office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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